Apartment life: then and now

Six months ago, I moved into this apartment excited and happy to start apartment life.
Now i look forward to going home every weekend.

I think it's because I no longer live with any of the people I wanted to live with, save for one person. One left to go help people in need in some far off distant land. One went back home to live with family. The last moved on and is living with other people.

I don't blame any of them. It just sucks not being able to call this place home because of the people here. Theres only one person I like living with here, but he's not always around nowadays.

Two more quarters...

Changes

I was talking to a close friend tonight and we got on to how much we've changed since high school.
Our mindset, where we are spiritually, our personalities have all changed since we started college.
I wonder what the freshman will be like in three years' time.

Scrubs are sexy

I don't know why, but when I see a girl in scrubs, I find it really sexy. If you don't know what scrubs are, they're those outfits that doctors/nurses wear.

Maybe it's the bio nerd in me, but I really find girls who wear scrubs attractive.

I'm so not in the studying mood.

For once, I'm okay with being single. It's a really good feeling. I feel liberated almost. :D

Sometimes

I think you like pissing me off. Why?

I Bitched Out

So earlier tonight, I was with a few friends at carnitas. As we get our food and begin to eat, a homeless man walks up to us and asks if one of us could buy him some food for his wife. I decided to buy him food and walked with him to the ordering window. As I ordered some food for him, a thought came over me. It was quick. Fleeting. There for a second, and gone just as fast. In short, that thought said "talk to him about Jesus". What did I do?

I bitched out.

Instead of listening to that thought, that thought that was God's voice, I bitched out and said nothing. I handed him the receipt so that he could pick up his food, said "God bless", went back to my seat, and sat there. I've got to say, I'm kind of disappointed and ashamed in myself for not even trying. For just brushing off the opportunity to possibly experience the joy that is bringing someone to Christ. I guess I have some nutting up to do...

Nice guys finish last

But the last shall be first in heaven. Why put my dating life in my own hands when I can put them in hands that are way more capable? I've decided to take the advice of some older, wiser friends and leave it up to Him.

I'm gonna stop worrying and just leave it all in His hands.

Dating

I want to date.

BUT the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm not ready to date. I'm not confident in myself enough, and I am definitely not spiritually grounded enough for a relationship, which sucks. He'll provide when I am ready, but it's up to me to ready myself.

Music

So I currently have about 4000 songs on my itunes (and growing). I've probably listened to less than half of my library. I'm gonna try to listen to every song in my library at least once before the end of the summer. Luckily, I can cross off all of my classic rock albums (thank God) from the list. That still leaves probably more than 3500 songs. Better get listening...

I've also realized most people think my taste in music sucks.

Random Thoughts

#1: Life is really complicated. I'm a simple guy. I like simplicity.

#2: As Bob Marley so eloquently put it, "No woman, no cry". Why does it feel like so much of the anxiety in my life is related to the opposite sex?

#3: I really like the new freshman class at YNECM. They're a fun group of kids. Maybe I like them because I'm actually talking to them and being friendly this year.

#4: Apartment life is great.

#5: It's 4am and I'm not very tired.

#6: I love having deep talks with people. You know the kind that forges a connection with that person because you've shown a piece of your soul to them?

#7: College is truly a time of change and finding out who you really are. It's like meeting a new person.

#8: I don't talk to any of my high school friends (except for one person), and I'm completely okay with it.

#9: I am so spiritually dry it's not even funny. Complacency has a lot to do with it.

#10: Confidence. I need it.

#11: Even as a senior, I still don't know myself very well. It's an every day learning experience, and I don't think it'll be over any time soon. I guess this goes with confidence. The more I learn about myself, the more confidence I seem to gain.

#12: I went home monday afternoon. It was nice seeing my dad, even if it was only for a couple hours. Living away from home makes me appreciate my family so much more and cherish my time with them.

#13: One thing that sucks about living in an apartment is that I don't get to sleep in my queen sized bed. It's seriously the most comfortable bed ever. Friends have sat down on it and fallen asleep. It's that awesome.

#14: I find the magnitude of my dependence on the internet kind of crazy. It's almost pathetic how much I rely on the internet.

#15: Gonna try to get some summer reading done. Reading list is, in no particular order:
- reread harry potter and the deathly hallows
- Screwtape letters
- Desiring God
- Hearing God's Voice
hopefully i'll cross off at least two of these off my list by September's end

#16: I think I might have ruined my roommates by bringing my wii and xbox360 to the apartment. Hopefully they'll adapt. Fifa and super smash are taking over

#17: I wish people here played more soccer. It's such a fun sport to watch/play.

#18: The harder i try at fantasy baseball, the worse i do. Maybe if I stop trying, I'll do better.

#19: Currently at 167lbs. I want to try to cut down to 145-150. Once I hit that, who knows?

#20: I realized I still have trouble humbling myself. My hubrus is going to get me into trouble.

#21: Summer school itself is so not that bad, but it's just the fact that it's during the summer. Holy moly it's already week 4. 6 weeks go by so fast.

#22: After working on it, some people actually call me nice now. It's a great feeling.

That's it for now. I'm so lucky I have lecture at noon.

How was your first year?

So people always ask me how my first year at UCLA was, and to be honest, I don't really know how to answer the question. I usually answer with "It was really different. Not what I expected. I didn't do as well as I wanted." Having some time to think about it now, I still don't really know how to answer the question. Taking one of the hardest classes (biochem) in my first quarter at UCLA definitely didn't help with my transition from classes at GCC to classes at UCLA. It was like going from playing pop warner football to playing for the 49ers. Also, living with roommates made me realize that I have to be careful with the people I choose to live with. I thought it would be okay living with a friends from GCC but I realized that I like them, but can't really stand living with them.

I guess to sum it up in one word or phrase, my first year as a full fledged bruin would be "transition" or "learning experience". I've matured more as a student, being able to somewhat space out my studies, as well as learning how i study best. Sort of. I'm really going to miss dorm food though. Time to make friends with some freshmen.

Weather + Finals = FAIL

It's about that time in sunny Socal when the transition from winter to summer happens. There's no real spring here. It's getting hotter, and I do not like summer weather. It's just too hot. I think I don't like summer mostly because I sweat easily. This hot weather makes me tired and sluggish. Bad timing since my last and most difficult final is tomorrow morning at 8. But after that I'll be soaking in that beautiful Socal sun in Whale's Vagina. I guess I should at least start trying to study. I want winter back. :(

Finals

Why is it so dang hard to study during finals week? :(

Marthon training

4 miles in 37 minutes.
12 miles in about 2 hours.
Feeling good!

Countdown

11 hours, 37 minutes left...

Survivor

This show is seriously so awesome. Just living in the middle of nowhere on some random island for 39 days while you outplay 19 other people for a million dollars. There's actually so much strategy behind the game. Do you play the role of the jerk/asshole and just muscle your way through, or do you play the good guy who keep his word throughout the game staying true to your alliances, or do you manipulate your way to the finals, backstabbing and deceiving everyone. The show is so full of surprises and suspense. On top of all the strategy, there are the physical aspects of the game, like the challenges and, well, surviving.

It's such an awesome idea. I wish that I could go on the show, just to experience it. I wouldn't really care if I won the money or not (although winning wouldn't be so bad). I just want to see what it's like to live balls to the wall man vs nature. Only problem is that I hate coconuts...

Self Improvement

For the past two months, I've been on a quest to improve myself physically, spiritually, and mentally. I've done pretty well with the physical aspect, reaching 155 pounds this week (total weight loss: about 15 pounds). I honestly thought that this would be the hardest part, but it was surprisingly simple: don't eat after 10, eat a little bit but eat often, stick to the workout plan.

Now that I'm getting closer to my target weight, I feel that I should start focusing on the rest of my self improvement. Spiritually, I've been in a rut for a while. The 40 day ministry fast has helped, but entering this final week, I feel that I should have spent way more time with God. I have so much time, yet spend so little of it reading the Bible or praying. For now, it's spiritual self improvement fail.

As for the mental/emotional/personality aspect, I don't think I've done that much better. I'd say that I'm kind of a jerk, so the biggest thing that I've been trying to do is be nicer to people. For some reason, it's been one of the hardest things to do.

The one thing that keeps me going/motivated is the feeling of success when I take the right step towards improving myself, whether it's losing another pound, successfully doing a qt/spend some time praying, or catching myself from doing a jerk move. It gives me this jolt of excitement and hope that I'm not too far from becoming the person I want to be.

"Self improvement is masturbation"
-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

A very random post

I just woke up from a nap, and I feel awesome(say awesome like Barney from HIMYM would say it)!

Took my stats midterm today. Whoever told me stats was easy is a liar. I personally think that stat is pretty tough. Why do I need to learn stats as a bio major anyways?

Cotton mouth and nap breath is gross. Together, they're even grosser.

All my friends are getting girlfriends, and I'm single. Blessing or a curse?

My roommate never wakes up to his alarm. His alarm pretty much wakes me up and I, in turn, as I leave the room for my class, turn on the lights to wake him up.

I'm currently weigh in at 156-157ish in the mornings. My post-workout weight is at about 153ish.

I'm still debating whether I should sign up for the marathon. Most of my buddies have signed up, but I'm still on the fence.

It's February. That means I turn the big two one in about two weeks, give or take a day.

I lied. I know exactly how long it is until my birthday. It's in 13 days. I can't wait. I want beeeeeeeeeeeer...

I'm currently rewatching the O.C. Yes, rewatching. That mean's I've seen it before. No homo.

I won a $50 gas card from playing flaming finger. It was epic.

Insanity

Just hit below 160 lbs today! Woohoo!!

Losing Weight

Slowly doing it...gonna get my beach body by the end of the school year!

Fasting Week 1

So YNECM has begun a 40 day fast to ask God for change in the ministry. I decided to fast red meats/sweets, ESPN, secular music, and movies. The food part is pretty easy. I think the hardest one by far is music. Everywhere I look, it seems as though i'm bombarded with secular music. Whether it be at school dining halls, my roommates listening to their songs, or even my friends singing or listening to their ipod. It's everywhere, and it's so hard to keep my mind away from them. Sometimes i catch myself inadvertently humming a tune and it drives me insane. I'm so weak to it and i had no idea why. This first week was pretty tough, but i realized why. I spent little to no time in prayer and meditation. Though i'm fasting, my focus wasn't on God, but on something else. Maybe my own self pity of not being able to eat/listen to what i wanted to. Hopefully this upcoming week will be better.

Blogging again

So I'm back in the blogging world. Apparently nobody uses xanga anymore (who would have known?).